Things a week of fatherhood has taught me

Posted July 19, 2010 at 12:36 EDT under daily.

Things a week of fatherhood has taught me.

• Babies are not top-rack dishwasher safe, regardless of any such statements on the tag or packaging it arrived in.
• Receiving blankets are for primarily receiving a variety of effluvia.
• Effluvia come in a large variety, and in great amounts; you will need approximately 1000 square meters of receiving blankets to contain it.
• If you believe the internets, a newborn is less a human child, and more an eigeninfant system in perfect equilibrium poised to fall into a non-ideal chaotic state at the slightest provocation. Maintaining the health of your child is, apparently, like balancing a cannon-ball on the apex of a dome.
• If you are the sort of person that feels sick and groggy after a short nap, having a child will cure you of this. You will feel sick and groggy all the time, not just after a daytime nap.
• Blogging, and other non-baby-related tasks, are often cut short because of a sudden need to

@clvrmnky, out.